I met a guy in the late fall of 2019 that lived 90 minutes away. We relied heavily on text and phone conversation until we were able to coordinate meeting up. He mentioned that he was meeting up with a friend nearby, so I suggested we meet for a drink. My friend, her fiance, and his parents were in town for the famous Christmas Tree Lighting in Leavenworth, so I was playing tour guide but I had some time before to meet him for a drink.
Later that day, I received a text from him that he was leaving the town he lives 90 minutes away. He asked for my address to pick me up and told me to decide what I wanted to eat. Hanging up, I was very confused. I thought he was already in the area with a friend and we were casually meeting up for a drink.
I panicked.
Quickly I text my friend and told her that he’s picking me up to go on a date-date. All she could do was laugh. Of course, this would happen to me.
I decide to just go with it.
He picks me up and I sorta explain the miscommunication. His friend ended up bailing but he still wanted to see me so he just said f-it and drove out. Okay! I appreciate the eagerness.
We decide to go to the local brewery and grab some flights. We had a lot of fun but there was something just a bit off. I felt like I was hanging out grabbing beers with a guy friend. Not in the way of “dating your best friend” either. I didn’t feel the dating vibe and honestly, in retrospect, I was NOT in a place to be dating at the end of 2019 while I was still in a very dark space of grief.
We spent a few hours at the brewery and then the Christmas Tree Lighting was about to start. I suggested we go watch it and then we’d part ways when I met up with my friend and her fiance’s family.
If you’ve ever been to Leavenworth for any festival then you know it’s packed. Thousands of people travel from all over the world to visit Leavenworth and to come to these famous festivals. As we were swerving through the crowd to get out and say our goodbyes, he grabbed my hand. Ummm…I was not feeling those hand-holding vibes. I quickly adjusted something to let go of his hand and kept walking.
As I was saying goodbye and heading into the restaurant I saw my friend, her fiance, and his parents already sitting down. I beelined for them with a big smile on my face. Greeting my friend with a big hug, she whispered “oh, so the date’s going well?” at the same time as her fiance was getting up to grab another chair.
I quickly turned around and saw him standing there introducing himself to my friend’s fiance and his parents. He sat down next to me and put his arm on the back of my chair around me.
What. The. Actual. Fuck?
My friend’s fiance and his parents had NO IDEA what was going on but I had been texting my friend to escape, so she was shooting me looks across the table. Finally, we excused ourselves to do the obligatory girls’ trip to the bathroom where I spilled everything.
⚠️ WARNING: We have a stage 5 clinger ⚠️
I didn’t know what to do at this point.
My friend suggested doing the nice girl thing and stick it out.
We finished dinner and he drove me home. I followed up with a friendly text about how it was great hanging out but I thought we were better of as friends etc.
C’mon we all know this line.
But he still didn’t take the hint. He contacted me a few more times after this to the point that I finally just blocked him.
It’s completely NEVER okay to ghost someone but in situations like these, I sometimes understand why people do it. It’s hard to let someone down nicely. Especially when you run the risk of them not taking “NO” for an answer or just not getting it!
One thing I’ve learned through my dating adventures is that although it’s extremely hard to let someone down (not so hard when they are an ass and deserve it), it’s always the right thing to do. I’m hoping the ghosting karma gods will one day show some mercy on me.
*all names have been changed
