Dating IRL (In Real Life) is very different than online dating, so I felt it deserved its very own series. Peep my Quarantine Dating Series here for more juicy stories.
I’m diving deep into the archives of my dating life to recover this one. Back in 2015, when I was living in Fort Lauderdale, I was working in Boca Raton. I woke up every morning at 5 am and drove to the LA Fitness across the street from my work. I got my early-morning workout in, showered, and got ready there to miss rush hour traffic.
If you’ve ever been one of those morning workout people, you know it’s a certain type of person. It’s usually a small group of regulars that are really dedicated. There was only about a handful of women who would also use the showers at the gym and get ready for work and we soon all became gym buddies and chatted while getting ready.
This was my routine for over a year, so one day one of the regular women started asking me more personal questions.
I quickly realized the next day what was happening as she talked highly about her son out of the blue. Then the next week she asked if I’d be interested in going on a date with her son. I obviously had some questions before I agreed to this setup…
How old is he? What’s his name? What’s he do? Do you have a picture?
So she answered my questions – he’s 3 years younger than me and worked at the golf course at the country club – and the next week she brought a picture of her son. He wasn’t necessarily my type but seemed attractive enough that I thought why not? A setup is always a bit more interesting than online dating.
I gave her my phone number to pass on and left it to him to pursue me. That night I received a text from Jake* introducing himself and small chatting a bit. It was pretty harmless. We continued a bit of conversation via text over the next week.
One night while my roommate and I were lounging at home, I got a call from an unknown number. Typically, I’d just throw my phone across the room and make my roommate answer. 🤣 I absolutely hate small talk and unscheduled phone calls. An unknown number? Absolutely not, that’s a hard pass.
Buuuttttt….I had just given out my number to a few people 👀 so I reluctantly answered. It was Jake* calling to small talk. We ended up having an interesting conversation. Somehow we started talking about the stars and horoscope, so I guess he kinda got me hooked there. He ended the call asking me out on a date for brunch that Sunday.
I’m all for brunch dates because they’re a bit more casual and less stressful + who doesn’t love brunch?
We made plans to go to one of my favorite brunch spots on the beach; Coconuts Fort Lauderdale. He picked me up Sunday morning and about 3 blocks down the road he starts talking about something that had happened at work. I honestly don’t remember the details of it but what I do remember is he started talking negatively about this gay man.
FULL STOP ✋ 🛑
I’m like umm… you literally picked me up in the gay community (Wilton Manors) of Fort Lauderdale. My best friend and roommate is a gay man and I fully support the LGBTQ+ community.
I was so uncomfortable. I literally wanted to throw myself out of his moving car.
Instead, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him “explain”. I know, I know.
Of course, he backtracked and said that the negativity about the guy wasn’t because he was gay but…. okaaayyyy.
In retrospect, I should have said “turn this f-ing car around and take me home”. Now, I would 1,000% do that but this was before I found my voice and was trying to “be nice” and “people pleasing”. 🤮
This guy’s chances are blown out the window and the date is already over in my head but the story does get better, so I’ll continue.
As we are arriving to my favorite brunch spots in Fort Lauderdale this conversation happens:
Him:
What’s your favorite brunch item at this place?
Me:
Chicken-n-Waffles and mimosas
Him:
Oh. I don’t drink.
Me:
Is it okay if I do?
[I’ve been on a date where I ordered alcohol and unbeknownst to me, the person was a recovering alcoholic and it wasn’t a great situation.]Him:
Yeah, of course! Order whatever you want, it’s on me!
When the waitress comes to take our drink orders, he asks for water and then I order my water and mimosa. As she is walking away, he calls her back and orders a shot of tequila! 😳
Me:
I thought you said you didn’t drink.
Him:
::blank stare::
He proceeded to order SIX SHOTS OF TEQUILA!
I don’t know about you but I have never done 6 shots of tequila on a date or at brunch for that matter. Because spoiler alert, it’s only “a good look” when you can hide in the rhythm of sound coming from the DJ booth and the darkness of a Miami nightclub. It’s definitely not a good look in the daylight of a popular brunch spot sitting on the Intracoastal near 5 million dollar yachts.
He was completely wasted and slurring his words after 2 shots. I honestly don’t think he drinks much and I’m not sure if he thought it was going to impress me but it did the complete opposite.
Throughout the conversation, every single thing he said was contradicted 5 minutes later. I couldn’t tell what was real and what was just a made-up story or something to “impress me”. Plus I couldn’t deal with a sloppy homophobic immature drunk date.
I ended up paying for myself and getting an Uber home. ✌️
The follow-up:
His mom excitedly asked me how the date was the next morning at the gym. I had to kindly let her down that I wasn’t her future daughter-in-law and that she’d need to keep searching for someone for her poor son. Later the next day, he followed up when he was sober to ask me out again!!! He obviously thought it went well.
The next week at happy hour, one of the other 5 am regulars that I’d become close with informed me that she had been approached by the same woman to go on a date with her son! I gave her all the juicy details to save her from an awful date.
A few weeks later, his mom stopped coming to the gym in the morning. Did she find out about her son’s issues? Was she embarrassed? Desperation makes us do crazy things. No more setups for me.
Have you ever been set up on a date?
*all names have been changed
