Moving abroad is a rollercoaster. It’s amazing, terrifying, and overall – completely life-changing! While it’s not for everyone, most people’s initial experiences can be summarized by similar experiences, feelings, and phases. There are roughly 6 distinct phases that you’ll pass through (maybe more than once) within your first year abroad.
The first time you move abroad is ALWAYS the most intense – especially if you’re moving to a country where you don’t speak the language! But rest assured, after you make it through these phases, it’ll be much easier if you stay or move to another country.
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Check out my checklist for moving abroad here.
Phase one: Excitement
Many would refer to this as the honeymoon stage. It’s the exciting jitters that you get as you’re packing, at the airport, boarding the plane, and landing in a new country. Everything about this phase is a new experience. You’re excited to adventure, meet new people, see your new place, and maybe even start a new job. This is also the phase that most of the crazy stories come from because you’re truly seeing everything from a different lens. Enjoy this phase as much as you can and write it down! The excitement phase can last for a week or month but it also tends to blend with the next few phases intermittently.
Phase Two: Fear
This can occur in waves as you’re boarding the plane. I had a moment sitting on the plane to China right after the doors shut where I thought to myself, “OMG what the F am I doing?”. I PROMISE YOU THIS WILL PASS! But it will also come back over the next few months.
There will be moments you’re scared to navigate the market or transportation system in a foreign language. Maybe finding a place to live or finding a job will be terrifying. Whatever it is that scares you, try to change your mindset about it. It’s your first time and it’s a new experience, it’s going to be so exciting and will make for a great story later!
Phase 3: Frustration
As you’re adapting over the next few months, there will be countless moments of frustration. Everything from trying to set up a bank account, getting a new phone/SIM card, installing WiFi, and ordering anything will be intensified with the language barrier. This is one of the hardest but most rewarding phases. (Skip to Phase 5 if you don’t believe me!)
Phase 4: Homesickness
Loneliness and missing your friends and family definitely come in waves. It’s usually the strongest within the first month or two as you’re still adjusting and meeting new friends. Eventually, you’ll make those strong connections and before you know it you’ll be crying missing your new friends, and calling your new city “home”. The easiest way to get through this phase is to keep in contact with your loved ones back home; set up weekly Skype/FaceTime calls, write emails/send voice notes, and have a good cry! But don’t let the homesickness overwhelm you. Get out there and meet people!
Phase 4: Regret
Regret swirls around with homesickness. It can be easy when you’re missing everything and everyone from back home to have feelings of regret. You might consider returning home and you’ll likely question any and every decision. Try try try to not sit in this phase too long. When you’re feeling regret, make a list of all the reasons you moved to your new country (ie: meet new people, learn a new language, experience a new culture, try new foods) and go do one of those things!
Phase 5: Success
Remember when you were struggling through every little thing and now look at you – you’re hailing a taxi, ordering food, and even making small talk with your neighbors or security guard! These moments feel so rewarding in a foreign country because you’ve been through the frustration phase. I know it might’ve seemed like you were never gonna get here and you may not even really notice that you got here but take some time to revel in this very big win!
Phase 6: Fulfillment
Within 6-8 months, you’ve decided you’re in it and staying. You’ve settled into your home and job, made new friends, and explored your neighborhood. In this phase, you’ve got a routine with your go-to cafes, restaurants, and markets. The language barrier has decreased and you’re not using GoogleTranslate like your life depends on it. This phase is fulfilling and content, you’ve made it!
If you’re making the leap abroad soon, drop a comment below! I’d love to hear about your destination
