If you had asked me 8 years ago what I thought I’d gain after my move abroad, I probably would’ve said something like I’ll learn a new language, try new foods, and experience a different culture. I totally did gain all of these things. But there have also been more meaningful things that have happened to me. I’ve become so much more patient, compassionate, and empathetic. I’m clear about my values, my boundaries, and have seen and felt insane clarity and growth.
If you are planning to move abroad, here are a few things you can look forward to!
Gain an insane amount of confidence
Moving abroad is scary but once you do it, you’ve done it and the confidence from that is intense. Not to mention all the little things you’ll do; navigating the grocery store, restaurants, taxis, banks, meeting new people, etc. all in a foreign language. Trust me, you won’t instantly feel the confidence but over time as these things become more routine, you’ll look and realize how much stronger and sure of yourself you’ve gotten. Feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin will naturally happen as you experience new things and meet new people.
Lose weight & then gain weight
I don’t know what it is but whenever I move abroad, my body goes through this intense fluctuation of weight loss and gain. Typically, when I arrive it takes my body some time to adapt to the time change, the different foods, and a new routine. Plus I walk A LOT to explore, so I usually lose weight at first. But then, I get comfortable, I try all the foods, and slowly but surely the weight of my new country starts to show up on the scale (not that I’m complaining). After about 4-6 months, it all balances out and I’m back to normal!
Learn to appreciate the little things
I swear my friends and family have superpowers. They can sense when I’m having a really hard time abroad feeling homesick or lonely and send me a message, meme, or photo with exactly what I need. I appreciate these little moments and the calls, I appreciate the time with them and with my new friends, and I am grateful for the experiences big and small. It’s incredible what you start noticing about your life and the things you took for granted when you’re removed from everything that once was routine and normal.
There will be food item(s) you NEVER knew meant so much to you
I’m sure you’ve done a ton of research before you move abroad, so you know the things that aren’t available and what to bring. What you might not realize though is that those items are different, hard to find, or very expensive because they’re imported.
In China, it was cheese. It’s just not really a big ingredient in their culture, so it was really hard to find and when I did find it, it was very expensive! It’s very hard to find (good) sushi in Mexico! I had no idea I would crave and miss these things the way that I do.
I guess the saying is correct, “You don’t realize what you have until you’ve lost it”. 🤣
You’ll recognize your privilege
If you’re coming from a Western country, it’s likely that you already have a basic awareness of your privilege. There will be experiences and moments where you will feel the weight of your privilege. Oftentimes you’ll feel called to use it to your advantage to help someone or help yourself, be careful here.
Certain things will make SO much more sense in your new country
When you first start traveling around different countries and move abroad, you’ll notice a lot of things are very different from what you’re used to. Some of them just don’t make ANY sense, it’s so backward, or old school. But then there are others that will amaze you! You’ll think to yourself “WOW! That’s brilliant, why don’t we do that at home?”.
For example, when I moved to China in 2016, there were QR codes on the tables that you scanned to view the menu and order on your phone. Flash forward to 2022, the US and other developing countries have finally kinda implemented this technology due to COVID-19.
Another major difference at restaurants in China that I absolutely love is that the waiter doesn’t come over to you until you flag them down. This is wonderful! Think about how many times waiters interrupt an intense or important conversation, the timing is always off. The first time I came back to the United States from China, I was out to eat with girlfriends. We had been waiting forever and it wasn’t THAT busy, so I started flagging down the waitress. I thought my friends were going to either A. murder me or B. crawl under the table and die. They thought it was so rude and embarrassing. I had totally forgotten after a year abroad that it wasn’t acceptable.
I could write a whole post about the major differences between China and the United States but I’ll spare you.
Eventually, you’ll become an expert packer
Trust me, it took me a really long time to get my packing down. Packing cubes are a game-changer for this! I also got really honest with myself about certain items of clothing “Am I actually going to wear this item abroad that I’ve never even worn once here?”.
I never thought I’d be able to travel for a 10-30 day trip in a carry-on, but I’ve done it. Also, I never thought I’d pack for a weekend getaway in a backpack, but I’m doing it (literally as I type this). With practice and experience, you’ll soon realize what you can’t live without while traveling and what is a total waste of space!
You’ll do & try things you never thought you would
I never thought of myself as a risk-taker or that adventurous before moving abroad. But now I often hear my family say “Jen, please step back from the ledge” and friends use words like “adventurous” and “brave” to describe me. If there is a unique food in the area, I will try it. And if there’s a pretty view, I will climb a mountain and sit on the ledge to enjoy it. When you travel and move abroad, you realize how short life is and how many things are worth experiencing.
There are so many unique things to try in countries; saying you tried chapulines (crickets) in Mexico, stinky tofu in China, or frog legs in France is a pretty once-in-a-lifetime experience. So, why not?
Things you thought really mattered, won’t mater anymore
One of my mantras is “If it won’t matter in a year, forget about it”. When I was living in the United States, there would be drama with relationships, friends, work, and just life that I would get so lost in. But when you’re abroad, it just doesn’t matter. I can’t really explain it but you just see the world much differently and little routine things just won’t matter anymore.
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Experience an insane amount of homesickness and loneliness
I love living abroad, don’t get me wrong but I also love my family, my friends, and the comfort of it all. On days when nothing is going right, the feelings of loneliness are intensified. It’s super important to have a support system back home that will pen pal via email, set up regular Facetime dates, and know just how to comfort you but not tell you to come home.
I remember when I first moved to China, I would cry on the phone to my parents because some man at the market yelled at me about bananas, I couldn’t find toilet paper at the grocery store, and my iPhone fell in the toilet at school. Those days, I wanted to GTFO. Put me on the first flight out of China, I needed a mom hug. Now I look back and laugh at these moments. They’re great stories and the number of lessons I learned (problem-solving in a foreign country, enduring hardships, strength, confidence, I could go on…) have made me who I am today.
All that to say, I still get homesick. There are a few things that I do to curb it, so you just have to find what’s best and comforting to you. I carry photos (not just digital) of my parents and close friends, notes/cards in my journal from friends and family, a blanket from home, and of course, my childhood teddy bear.
Connect on an extremely deep level with new friends
It takes a certain type of person to pick up their life and move abroad. They’re often on a similar journey, you’re in an environment that encourages meeting new people, and you’ve already got 1 thing in common – travel. While I’m not saying you’ll get along with everyone you meet in your new country, it’s definitely a lot easier to meet people abroad.
Personally, I have found that the friends I make living abroad have a deeper connection quicker because of our shared experiences and journey. It can be hard for friends at home to understand what a “China Day” is (that’s what my friends and I would call it when all the bureaucratic BS makes everything much harder) or why going to do a simple thing like go to the bank is traumatizing.
Expansive social network
I knew that I was going to make friends abroad and while traveling but I did not really understand the gravity of how expansive my network would become. Many of my friends have gone on to move to other countries or move back to their home countries. I now have friends all over the world (China, Australia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, Ukraine, Turkey, UK, Germany, Costa Rica, France, Italy, Spain, Canada, Mexico, and beyond).
