I met Vinny* the Aussie on Hinge as Washington State was tiptoeing into phase 2. We instantly connected and exchanged numbers chatting about our similarities, deal breakers, life abroad, international food, and travel. He was great at asking thought-provoking questions and keeping the conversation going.
He said repeatedly how excited he was to meet me and commenting on my physical looks. I appreciate a compliment but maybe I’m a bit of a Goldilocks 😉 I need attention but not too much attention.
After every few texts it was…
“I love that you love to….”
“I wanna go there with you…”
“You’re like my dream girl”
These things are always nice to hear and you’re probably reading this thinking WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? A nice guy giving compliments. I know, I know. What can I say? I’ve got issues. It just started feeling a bit obsessive.
Over the next few days, it became all day texting. If I was in a meeting, I’d return to my phone and have a ton of messages about how much he missed me. I was hanging out with friends and he wanted me to FaceTime him while I was with them. I enjoy a good meaningful conversation but I’m not a big fan of small talk particularly when I’m busy.
It felt like it was spiraling, so I finally said I really hate small talk and that I felt that we were having great conversations but then something had changed. It felt forced.
And then this is what happened:
Him:
I think we need to have breakfast together to fix this!
Me:
That’s not exactly feasible right now! Lol
Him:
I hope everything works out for you in your adventures. Don’t spend too long in Seattle, it will kill your soul.
Me:
Wait what?
:: because I don’t even live in or near Seattle:: 🙄
Him:
Don’t spend too much time texting people. Just a word of advice for online dating… real conversations are what matter and last.
::after we talked on the phone multiple times but clearly not every second of every day enough for him::
Me:
Ok.
Him:
You think you know a person and then it’s just totally different.
Me:
Ok, this “advice” feels very unnecessary.
Him:
You’re kind of rude. Hope you figure things out.
Me:
What the hell? I’ve been honest with you. This is unnecessary and rude of you.
Him:
Well it was meant to be positive feedback.
And then I blocked him.
But the story doesn’t end there because in the midst of the great connection he started following me on Instagram. It’s been a year since receiving his “positive feedback” and he still continues to message me on Instagram…AS IF HE WASN’T A COMPLETE D-BAG!!!!
Maybe these things are cute when it’s the right person? Or perhaps I’m just not that type of girl. Either way, I will never take dating advice from a man who thinks this behavior is okay.
*all names have been changed
