If this is your first time here, don’t worry these stories aren’t connected but it might be fun to start with Part 1: The One That Wants a Home Base and subscribe here to get future series directly to your inbox. Let’s dive right in!
Before Thanksgiving I connected with a guy on Hinge, we’ll call him Jeffery*. He had recently moved to the small Bavarian town of Leavenworth from Germany and was not looking for anything too serious. Perfect!
We instantly had a great connection chatting about all of the differences of living abroad vs home. He asked thoughtful questions and engaged in conversation. Within a few days, he asked for my number and then asked me on a date.
I liked it! A man that takes initiative.
Things had been opening up for outdoor dining, so we agreed on something casual: a breakfast date! I met him early on a Saturday morning and we instantly dove into a conversation as we waited in line. We grabbed breakfast sandwiches, warm beverages, and made our way outside to a picnic table. While we ate, the conversation went from deep (we were discussing world politics and cultural norms in America, Europe, and Asia – I know quite heavy for a first date but hey, 2020, right?) to a bit more small talk. We chatted about the week and when he told me he had just finished moving that morning, I was a bit confused.
The conversation went something like this…
Me: I thought you just moved here?
Him: Well, I did but I moved out of my house with my wife. Er, I mean my ex-wife. Well, technically we’re not divorced yet. We’re separated.
Me: Oh…
The conversation continues as he rambles about moving. In my head, I’m frantically sorting through the past week of conversations. I feel like this might’ve been something he should’ve mentioned but hmm..is it a deal-breaker? I’m broken out of my thoughts when he casually drops in having room in his new place for Carlie*.
Me: Who is Carlie?
Him: My daughter.
Me: Okay, I’m sorry. Back up. You didn’t mention any of this.
Him: Oh, sorry. There’s a picture of her in my profile on Hinge. It’s always a bit awkward.
Me: ::laughs awkwardly:: Yeah…
I feel like there were so many ways this could NOT be awkward, though.
Side Note
No, there is not a picture of his daughter on his profile, I went back to check after our breakfast date. There is a picture with a child’s arm and the rest cropped out. Also, if you’re not familiar with Hinge, there is a place to check “have children, want children, open to children” etc. He chose not to answer that question or make it public on his profile. This is an EASY way to make it NOT awkward**
So, Jeffery goes on to tell me about his 18-month-year-old daughter that he has with his wife.
Let’s just say I kindly declined on the second date follow-up and suggested a friend hike.
I want to clarify that I am not against dating someone with children. I am against dating a married man. He said “wife” too many times that even if they are separated or getting a divorce, it felt too fresh and messy. Plus, I honestly don’t trust these hoes!
*all names have been changed
