I took a poll a few months ago to see if anyone was interested in reading my dating series and I received an amazing response. Y’all really wanted the tea! 🍵 Originally, I had a few juicy stories in mind for a Dating in Quarantine 3 Part Series. But as I sat down with a 2-hour time block and 5 hours went by, I decided to extend the series. I’ve added Dating While Traveling & Abroad and Dating IRL.
I’ll be releasing 1 article per week, so make sure to subscribe here to get them straight to your inbox each week. And don’t worry if you’re not interested in the dating series -my travel content will still continue.
I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them. And of course, if you find something relateable or have a good laugh – please leave a comment or shoot me a DM! 💗 – JJ
Welcome to Part 1 of Dating in Quarantine: The One That Wants a Home Base
He’s not ready to commit.
He’s not looking for anything serious.
I’m ready to get engaged but he wants to wait.
How many times have we as women heard this? Especially in my 20’s, I heard this from girlfriends all the time.
Well, have you ever had a man talk about marriage, kids, and your future before you even met?
I have!
And then he ghosted me.
Let me start from the beginning. I started talking to a guy on Hinge during quarantine, let’s call him Dr. Steve*. There was no small talk, he just dove right into the nitty-gritty conversations. He asked me about China, what it was like being back in the US, how I was doing with mental health, and what phase my business was at.
Unlike many Hinge conversations that fall short of even being considered a conversation, Dr. Steve and I talked for hours on end. We were both SO interested in one another.
With Washington State being the first COVID19 hotspot back in February-March 2020, we were under heavy lockdown restrictions. That on top of being in 2 different cities, led us to rely heavily on text and phone communication. Within a few days, he suggested a virtual date night.
We both made dinner, grabbed our beverage of choice and settled in front of our phones for what turned out to be a 4 hour FaceTime date. We were both immediately happy to find neither of us was catfishing the other. Our conversation instantly started up and we laughed about memes, shows, and whatever dumb travel stories came up. I was very impressed by his attention to detail as he recalled stuff I had text in passing and was very mindful of certain topics. Things turned very emotional as we both discussed losing parents. And then the conversation turned to the future. He asked me what I was looking for…?
Wait. Isn’t that my line?
I explained to him in great detail that I’m looking for a partner to share my lifestyle and love of travel and adventure with. I’m building my business to be completely remote and flexible so that when the world allows, I can move around and travel and hopefully have someone doing it alongside me.
He asked about a home base and buying a house and kids.
Maybe it was the Rosé but my head started to spin.
I’ve never dreamed of owning a house. I’m not sure I want kids. A home base? I guess if I found the right person.
Could he be the right person?
He loves to travel but wants the stability of owning a house. His job doesn’t allow him to be remote and isn’t particularly flexible – with only about 2 weeks of vacation per year.
He asked if I would be happy owning a house in Seattle and using that as my home base.
But how often can I travel? Can’t I travel without you?
He started getting weird about the idea of me traveling without him and alone.
We went back and forth and the subject eventually changed to where we were dreaming of traveling to once quarantine was over.
Now this is more my type of conversation!
Over the next few weeks, our conversations only got better.
Dr. Steve started asking me how I felt about meeting for an outdoor picnic and/or hike. We each discussed it with our respective quarantine bubbles and decided it was safe, especially since he was tested daily.
He was to plan the date and I was cooking us up some tasty picnic treats.
To say I was giddy would be an understatement. It felt like we were so in sync with each other and very comfortable. I showed up on FaceTime dates sans makeup and he still thought I was beautiful. We talked about everything from past, present, to future and although we didn’t agree on everything there was always the fondness of the other to figure it out.
And then…I got that dreaded text.
Him:
“I think maybe things are moving too fast, I think I want them to slow down. I don’t want to rush into anything. Maybe we should wait until after lockdown to meet up?”
Me:
“Do you have 5 minutes to jump on the phone and talk today? I just think this is a better conversation to have on the phone.
Him:
And I never heard from him again. It’s been over a year and as I write this, Seattle is going back into lockdown. I wonder how the “meeting up after lockdown” line is going for him.
I wonder if he realizes he’s the one that rushed into things. Is he just that type? You know the type. Where they talk about all the things you’re going to do together and fulfill none of them. It sure didn’t seem like it but I guess I’ll never know.
*all names have been changed
His lose for sure! ☹️
Loss